In just 2 days I will embark on a very scary journey to get a doctoral degree at the University of Utah. It is scary and really quite mind-blowing, but I know deep down I'm supposed to do this. My journey to get here has been remarkable and really has confirmed that I should be doing this.
Way back in June 2015 I attended a UMTSS conference and was visiting with my good friend Kim Mendenhall, a former PhD graduate from the U. She introduced me to the Head of the Department of Special Education at the University of Utah. He was there recruiting for the department and told me about funding that had been received for a fully funded doctoral program in managing touch behaviors in the classroom. It got my mind turning and thinking about pursuing a doctoral degree, something I'd always wanted to do, but just never seemed right. When I got home from conference I contacted Rob O'neill and set up an appointment to visit with him about the program. When I got home from the appointment I kept thinking this is awesome, but for some reason didn't feel like I could get it all done by fall (honestly I don't think I could have) and I thought that must be my answer, not right now. Kelsie was getting ready to leave on her mission and I had two very active teenage boys, and although my work with the UPDN had been difficult, I'd only been with them one year and needed to give it a chance. So I put it in the back of my mind.
Way back in June 2015 I attended a UMTSS conference and was visiting with my good friend Kim Mendenhall, a former PhD graduate from the U. She introduced me to the Head of the Department of Special Education at the University of Utah. He was there recruiting for the department and told me about funding that had been received for a fully funded doctoral program in managing touch behaviors in the classroom. It got my mind turning and thinking about pursuing a doctoral degree, something I'd always wanted to do, but just never seemed right. When I got home from conference I contacted Rob O'neill and set up an appointment to visit with him about the program. When I got home from the appointment I kept thinking this is awesome, but for some reason didn't feel like I could get it all done by fall (honestly I don't think I could have) and I thought that must be my answer, not right now. Kelsie was getting ready to leave on her mission and I had two very active teenage boys, and although my work with the UPDN had been difficult, I'd only been with them one year and needed to give it a chance. So I put it in the back of my mind.
Fast forward about 6 months to the holidays 2015: I'm in my office and get an email from the U saying if you're interested in applying applications are due by January 5th (I think). My very dear friend and colleague, Randy Schelbe's cancer returns and on Thanksgiving Day she passes away. I am propelled to complete the PhD application and feel like I have to do it! I sign up for the GRE, I start getting letters of recommendations, and over Christmas break I get all of the letters and forms written. I submit my application one day before it is due. A couple of weeks later I get a call from the department and I am asked if I want to apply for the behavior program that is funded or the general program. I am compelled to say I want the general program, but immediately think "How will I pay for this?" But, feel very strongly and say, "I want the general program." Then I WAIT!
CEC conference in February 2016: I am in the hallway by the UPDN booth going over my notes for the explicit instruction session that I will be teaching in an hour, and Rob O'neill asks to visit with me. He tells me I have been admitted to the program and wants to personally congratulate me on my acceptance. I keep it together for a minute, then I head to the restroom to I freak out and call Todd and my family. What an exciting day and a huge honor.
Then really I start to pray! How will this work? Can I afford to do this? Does it make sense for me to do this now? Am I being selfish? Should I work part-time? Is it right to have my family sacrifice for a personal dream or goal? Can I do this? And the list goes on.... I pray, I talk to Todd, and I go to the temple and I feel very strongly that I need to quit my job and focus on school. I meet with my boss and send in a letter of resignation. I pray and try and have faith.
The next day I go to the gas station to get a drink and feel really strongly that I should go and get a yogurt at another gas station (I know weird). So as I'm walking out of the gas station I run into the director and associate director of special education for Nebo School District and I am offered a DREAM job right there on the spot, in my jeans and hoodie, in the parking lot. I immediately know this is an answer to prayers. I call Todd, and I tell my boys, and I write Kelsie, and I am feeling on cloud 9! One week later I am in orientation for the PhD program and my brilliant chair offers me a scholarship and a job teaching at the University. I am seriously so floored, so taken back, and so grateful. I was told I could only do one or the other, so then I start to worry and think, but the Nebo job is an answer to prayers. What should I do? I try getting advice from friends, from Todd, from family, and I know that I must make this decision on my own. I get worried and I only can think "Mindy, go to the temple." So later that week I attended the temple. I went all by myself and I had the neatest and most direct answer given to me that day. This is the answer I received. Mindy Tolbert- look a the blessings in your life. With all that is going on in the world, in the family, and with your friends, are you going to act as though your stress on which job to take and who is going to write your check is earth shattering? Now, I don't feel like my question was not important, because it was and I should take it to the Lord. What I do feel like my answer was that I was extremely blessed. I have a wonderful supportive husband that works tirelessly for our family. I have a missionary that is safe and teaching what she knows is true. I have two awesome happy, healthy, smart boys that are willing to sacrifice for their mom to do this. And the Lord is watching over me. I am being protected. And sometimes it will work itself out and I had two great offers to help me on this journey. Have faith.
Since that day I have felt pretty at peace with this decision. I can see God's hands in my life. I am trying to rely on faith. I am trying to embrace this experience and know that it will work out. I am going to work hard. I know, and have been told, that this might be the hardest thing I ever do in my life. I am filled with mixed emotions and I am sure there will be some tears in the next few years, but I am excited and looking forward to this journey. #PhDinThree begins now.
Wish me luck! My reality is about to change.
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