The last few days I’ve read the news of Amaud Arbery’s shooting and the acts of racially driven violence against Asian Americans during the Covid-19 pandemic, and I have a sick heart and a pit at the bottom of my stomach that I cannot shake. Almost two years ago, I posted about an racial attack on Zack at the local Walmart. Many, including my dear friends, reached out to check on Zack and the rest of our family. There was outrage at the thought that Zack had been approached and verbally assaulted for no reason, other than his race. When I read about what happened to Amaud because he was African American, to the woman who had acid thrown in her face because she is Chinese, to father that was stabbed while shopping in Sam’s club because he is Korean, and other racially driven attacks, I am sick! I look at those pictures and I see a mother’s son, a child’s mommy, a boy's brother, a baby’s father, a teenager’s friend. I see my child, my sister, my nephew, my brother, and my friend. I see a PERSON being attacked for no reason other than the color of their skin. It makes me angry, and sad, and scared, and sick. I hope as others read the headlines or see the horrific images that they see someone that they love. Each of these people has name, a family, and friends; they more than a headline or a nameless face without a story. No one- NO ONE, should walk out of their house in fear of being attacked for being a human being.
I personally attest that there are people, my children and I included, that live afraid. Zack is afraid to go to the store alone, Kelsie is afraid to go out without a mask, Clark is afraid for his Chinese friends, and I am afraid for my Asian son in NYC. And I am mad that we live afraid. As I was shopping in my local Costco a couple of weeks ago, a woman and her companion were shopping with all of the other customers until she saw Kelsie and I walking up the aisle. She intentionally backed-up, turned around, and stared me down until I picked-up my item and moved on. Fortunately, a family backing up and a staring me down doesn’t physically hurt, but it is certainly hurtful. It should not happen, but it does; it shouldn’t take a viral video to get people’s attention; but it does. I will loudly say that our fear over other people’s actions and hate will not keep us home and will not stop our joy. We are bigger and better and stronger than ignorance.
I just cannot understand why a person’s race, ethnic background, gender, sexual orientation, weight, height, religion, socio-economic status, disability, or any other human characteristic can drive another human being to be flat out inhumane. It just baffles me. I don’t believe people have to like everyone, be everyone’s friend, serve every neighbor, or even be kind (I mean, all of these things are nice and good people try to do these things). But I do believe that every single person should, in the words of my dear friend Michelle, “just be a decent human!” You don’t have to come to my home; our kids don’t have to get married; we don’t have to go to lunch together; get together for a bbq; or even sit next to each other at a ballgame. But PLEASE… just be decent - just keep shopping, just walk by, just tell your kids to ignore mine, just refrain from spewing hateful comments, just keep your fists, knives, and guns to yourself! In return, I promise that being a decent human being won’t cause my Asianness to rub off on you; your skin color will not change; you won’t speak in Spanish; you won’t be banned from Costco; and you won’t get Corona. However, being a decent human, might remove the hate in your heart, the ignorance in your soul, and the narrowed perspective in your sight. It may even make you feel decent, and I assure you that decency is a good feeling.
