First Day of School 2016

We have entered a new reality!

August 22, 2016

I entered the doors of the University of Utah yesterday. Wow!! I can't believe I am doing this. It started out with a great class all about he doc program by an awesome experienced professor. So it was very comfortable and very good. I learned one of the biggest pitfalls that doctoral students make is procrastination! Uh oh, I'm in trouble. She said plan on writing a minimum of 12 hours a week and schedule it in. So as you can see, I'm already distracted and it's the second day. I am going to have to buckle down for sure. But day one was great!

Day two... Different story! I took me 1 hour and 55 minutes to get to campus today. I paid 14 bucks to park. Then I was late, I showed up to class and had to introduce myself with a fun fact. This is a major generalization, but so funny. I'm pretty sure that 90% (or more) of my classmates are hikers, bikers, campers, kayakers, mountain climbers, and vacation in Nepal, and wear recyclable shoes. But don't worry, I introduced myself with the fun fact that I don't do anything outdoorsy or sporty, but I proudly hold a Disneyland Annual Pass and have used it on six trips this year. Yeah, I'm thinking people were not impressed. Haha! But, I get the very first question of the day! What does this mean (See picture below)? Well my answer, as expected, is "I DON'T KNOW!" How embarrassing !!!!! It pretty much went downhill from there. 

Seriously, Who knows what this means?!?! Keep in mind the last stats class I had was maybe high school, like 25 years ago!

Now for the real stars - Clark and Zack!

Clark is a junior this year. He was so excited to go to school today and tech the opening assembly and is happy to report it went perfectly, on his part! He got lots of compliments on his shirt today, and that's a good thing because all of his school shirts look similar. And he took his good friend Clara to school today. He had lunch with Jaylee, a new girl in the ward, and Clara and Hillary. His big stress right now is who to take to homecoming, I'm sure he'll figure it out. He is a little nervous about his physics class and very excited about theater tech. Pep band and the school play are on the agenda for the fall, and he was asked to be on the tech crew for Shakespeare Competition! 

Zack is a funny and stylish 9th grader! He's nervous about his math class. Maybe because his teacher said she hates math and hopes to be a history teacher, but it was easier to get a math job. And the only reason she picked teaching was because she didn't make it as a professional dancer. But the real story of the day was in seminary. He walks in and Bro. Carter said, "Hi, welcome to seminary. I'm Brother Carter, I think your in my class." Zack replies, "Um, I think I have Bro. Staff." Laugh, giggle, and chuckle from Bro. Carter and the Seminary Secretary. Poor buggar, he just tried to laugh along and try and figure it out. I mean it says staff right there on his schedule. Haha!!! Oh and he loves his history teacher and asked to be known was the Asian Persuasion! She even laughed, but maybe was a little taken off guard. He is a witty funny guy!

Oh and Todd wore a brand new shirt to work today. So instead of the first day of school, he gets new new clothes for day 6662 of work for IFA! What a great guy! Maybe I'll get a picture next time!

Back to school is alway a fun an exciting time! Every new school year brings a new reality for all of us! 

41 and Back to School?

I'm really going to do it. I'm going to back to school! Yes, I'm 41 years old. Yes, I gave up a job with a decent salary and good benefits. Yes, I have a missionary and two teenage boys. Yes, we will be going to one income. Yes, I will be commuting to Salt Lake at least 3 days a week. Yes, I am excited. Yes, I am nervous. Yes, I am anxious. Yes, this has been a lifelong dream.

In just 2 days I will embark on a very scary journey to get a doctoral degree at the University of Utah. It is scary and really quite mind-blowing, but I know deep down I'm supposed to do this. My journey to get here has been remarkable and really has confirmed that I should be doing this.

Way back in June 2015 I attended a UMTSS conference and was visiting with my good friend Kim Mendenhall, a former PhD graduate from the U. She introduced me to the Head of the Department of Special Education at the University of Utah. He was there recruiting for the department and told me about funding that had been received for a fully funded doctoral program in managing touch behaviors in the classroom. It got my mind turning and thinking about pursuing a doctoral degree, something I'd always wanted to do, but just never seemed right. When I got home from conference I contacted Rob O'neill and set up an appointment to visit with him about the program. When I got home from the appointment I kept thinking this is awesome, but for some reason didn't feel like I could get it all done by fall (honestly I don't think I could have) and I thought that must be my answer, not right now. Kelsie was getting ready to leave on her mission and I had two very active teenage boys, and although my work with the UPDN had been difficult, I'd only been with them one year and needed to give it a chance. So I put it in the back of my mind.

Fast forward about 6 months to the holidays 2015: I'm in my office and get an email from the U saying if you're interested in applying applications are due by January 5th (I think). My very dear friend and colleague, Randy Schelbe's cancer returns and on Thanksgiving Day she passes away. I am propelled to complete the PhD application and feel like I have to do it! I sign up for the GRE, I start getting letters of recommendations, and over Christmas break I get all of the letters and forms written. I submit my application one day before it is due. A couple of weeks later I get a call from the department and I am asked if I want to apply for the behavior program that is funded or the general program. I am compelled to say I want the general program, but immediately think "How will I pay for this?" But, feel very strongly and say, "I want the general program." Then I WAIT!

CEC conference in February 2016: I am in the hallway by the UPDN booth going over my notes for the explicit instruction session that I will be teaching in an hour, and Rob O'neill asks to visit with me. He tells me I have been admitted to the program and wants to personally congratulate me on my acceptance. I keep it together for a minute, then I head to the restroom to I freak out and call Todd and my family. What an exciting day and a huge honor. 

Then really I start to pray! How will this work? Can I afford to do this? Does it make sense for me to do this now? Am I being selfish? Should I work part-time? Is it right to have my family sacrifice for a personal dream or goal? Can I do this? And the list goes on.... I pray, I talk to Todd, and I go to the temple and I feel very strongly that I need to quit my job and focus on school. I meet with my boss and send in a letter of resignation. I pray and try and have faith.

The next day I go to the gas station to get a drink and feel really strongly that I should go and get a yogurt at another gas station (I know weird). So as I'm walking out of the gas station I run into the director and associate director of special education for Nebo School District and I am offered a DREAM job right there on the spot, in my jeans and hoodie, in the parking lot. I immediately know this is an answer to prayers. I call Todd, and I tell my boys, and I write Kelsie, and I am feeling on cloud 9! One week later I am in orientation for the PhD program and my brilliant chair offers me a scholarship and a job teaching at the University. I am seriously so floored, so taken back, and so grateful. I was told I could only do one or the other, so then I start to worry and think, but the Nebo job is an answer to prayers. What should I do? I try getting advice from friends, from Todd, from family, and I know that I must make this decision on my own. I get worried and I only can think "Mindy, go to the temple." So later that week I attended the temple. I went all by myself and I had the neatest and most direct answer given to me that day. This is the answer I received. Mindy Tolbert- look a the blessings in your life. With all that is going on in the world, in the family, and with your friends, are you going to act as though your stress on which job to take and who is going to write your check is earth shattering? Now, I don't feel like my question was not important, because it was and I should take it to the Lord. What I do feel like my answer was that I was extremely blessed. I have a wonderful supportive husband that works tirelessly for our family. I have a missionary that is safe and teaching what she knows is true. I have two awesome happy, healthy, smart boys that are willing to sacrifice for their mom to do this. And the Lord is watching over me. I am being protected. And sometimes it will work itself out and I had two great offers to help me on this journey. Have faith. 

Since that day I have felt pretty at peace with this decision. I can see God's hands in my life. I am trying to rely on faith. I am trying to embrace this experience and know that it will work out. I am going to work hard. I know, and have been told, that this might be the hardest thing I ever do in my life. I am filled with mixed emotions and I am sure there will be some tears in the next few years, but I am excited and looking forward to this journey. #PhDinThree begins now. 

Wish me luck! My reality is about to change.

School Shopping With the Teenage Boys

You know when you have a vision of what an activity is going to look like and then you go about your plan and the reality of the activity becomes very different than your vision, well that's school shopping with teenage boys. I had envisioned these fun days of shopping and chatting and lunch with my boys and then the reality hit. Let me tell you about the two days through a series of dialogue.

Me: Clark, Zack do you want to go school shopping?

Boys: Do we have to go today?

Me: No not really, we can go another day.
Clark: I'm not really even sure if I need anything except some shoes, shirts, and pants.

Me thinking: Duh, you need everything!

Me: Okay we can go another day. 

Fast forward two weeks. Clark is at EFY and Zack is sleeping until noon on the last two weeks of summer. I have bought several shirts at the GAP on clearance and put them in their rooms. They picked out some shoes on an ambush shopping trip disguised as a family outing to get excited about the Olympics. 

1:00 pm
Me: Zack, we have to go school shopping for pants because the sale at American Eagle ends today. 

Zack: Ok, I'll get ready. 

Me texting Clark: What size and style pants do you wear at American Eagle. 

Clark texting me back: size 34 x 34 skinny. 

Later that day about 3:00 pm - Zack and I are at American Eagle. He walks in picks up 2 different size pants and heads to the dressing room. I walk to the wall and pick out 3 pair of pants for Clark, all the same style - 2 dark blue jeans, and one black pair that he needs for tech. 

3:05 pm: I'm looking through the sale rack for shirts, I pick two - one for Zack and one for Clark.

3:10 pm: Standing at the check out buying six pair of pants and the two shirts I picked out. 

Me: Are you sure you don't need anything else?  

Zack: No.

Me: Are you hungry? Do you want to go to lunch?

Zack: Well I'm kinda hungry, but can we just drive through In-and-Out?

Me: Yep, if that's what you want to do.

3:15 pm: Ordering a double double meal.

3:35 pm: We are home. Jeans are on the couch, Zack is eating a burger while watching Netflix in the front room. 

Zack: Thanks Mom! It's been a fun day. 

Me: Sure, It was fun. (But I'm thinking... Wait we've been gone an hour and I took the whole night off thinking we'd be enjoying some bonding time with baby boy. But he's so happy with a burger. Oh well, when Clark gets home we'll get school supplies).

Fast forward 2 weeks - 3 days before school starts and my last day before my school starts.

Just hit the copy and paste button from Shopping Day 1.

Edit:

Zack and Clark are in the car. 

They only want to go to the Walmart in Spanish Fork. 

The only isles we see in the store are the back-to-school isles and our purchase list includes: 8 black and white binders, 8 black and white folders, two packs of mechanical pencils, and two packs of pens. 

Dialogue change - Me: "Boys, do you need highlighters, or colored pencils or anything?" Boys: "No, you made us get those last year and I don't think we even opened them."

Drive through Sonic instead of In-and-Out.

Total time gone 30 minutes. 

Huh----When your vision doesn't match the activity. That's reality!

*** One thing I must mention, there were lots of thank you mom comments made. I have good boys.

Why a Blog?

I've never been a blogger or even a journal keeper, but as life passes I've often thought, "I need to write this down." Not really for anyone but me, and maybe my family. I mean I've lived a lot of life and have so many experiences that have defined who I am. Lately it seems like a lot of people see my life through social media, and because social media is just a highlight film, it appears that I only play and party. Although I do take play time very seriously, I don't want my legacy to be, "she only plays." I also work very hard, struggle, worry, plan prepare, and reflect on live's choices. So this blog is really going to be my reality - mostly great, but sometimes hard, and even maybe, occasionally ugly. I'm also writing this as a type of "therapy" for myself, I am so verbal and sometimes just saying (writing) something or telling a personal story can really just put life in perspective and bring balance. And to top it all off, my life is a lot of fun, and my family is awesome, and we are funny, and my reality is really pretty darn awesome! So welcome to my reality!